I had a place to live, a job, a college enrollment. I was still living on my savings, so I was eating instant noodles most of the time, but frankly, my mother’s cooking hadn’t been that much better. I spent forty dollars of my money on a couple decent outfits I found at Goodwill and a vintage clothing store. My youth, combined with the vintage look, gave me a professional image that I cultivated. I’d already brought in my first listing and there was interest.But I’d intentionally ignored the reason I fled in the first place. I was nearly three months pregnant and I was beginning to feel it. I needed to make the big decision. Was I going to be a single mother, or was I going to the clinic that I’d been past twice. The abortion clinic. I didn’t want to be an eighteen-year-old single mom. I wanted to have a life.But my sweet angelic daughter had been everything to me. She was smart and funny and happy. How could I rob her of her life before it had begun? I admit that I’d had some help. Oh howI missed them both.I started shivering as I realised that the water was getting cold.I turned off the shower and I dried myself quickly.I went into my bedroom and put on my dressing gown.In the kitchen I filled a bowl with cornflakes and milk and munchedsilently as I tried to sort things through my somewhat scrambled head.The logical thing to do was go to the police station and tell them whathappened.The trouble was, I was 11 years old and I was not feeling very logicalat the moment.I remembered a program on telly that was about kids in an orphanage andhow they had been abused by their so called carers. My mum had watchedit with me and I remembered her comment.'It's a good job you don't have to live there, honey. I'm sure not allorphanages are the same but there have been some reports of some reallybad ones lately. Poor kids, what a way to start a life.'I didn't want to be put away with kids I didn't know. I worried aboutbeing abused, whatever that meant.I washed up my.
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